Fate
by dreamgoddess'92
Summary: Fate only takes you so far, then it's up to you to make it happen.


Hey fellow ST lovers.

I haven't posted a story in weeks! *laugh* I guess it's my own fault but school has been very hectic the past month so I haven't had the time (or the drive) to post any stories though I have written two or three on scrap paper. This is my first attempt at Kirk/Spock romance *giggle* so please be kind if you review. The thing with me is I actually like Kirk/Spock a lot, but I also will write Spock/Uhura fics. I like to be open minded. A lot of the inspiration & drive for Kirk/Spock comes from my girls on Tumblr anyway.

I do NOT own Star Trek (wouldn't that be great though?) and I hope you all enjoy & review.

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Fate.

Some people believed in it, some did not. James Tiberius Kirk was one of those people who did not. Well, he hadn't before a series of strange events caused him to cross paths with Spock, more specifically Spock Prime.

Jim had found it difficult to believe he and the stoic half Vulcan could ever be friends, especially when the pointy-eared bastard had marooned him on a dangerous ice planet where he was almost dinner. The irony of the whole situation, which was not lost on Jim, was that in the end Spock saved his life. Once Jim was safely back on the Enterprise and he had been given the time to reflect on the days events he allowed himself to see the humor, even after younger Spock had tried to kill him.

If Fate did indeed exist, then she was one temperamental bitch who had it in for him.

As time passed on the Enterprise, Jim dedicated himself to being the best Captain he could be, despite his young age. He balanced himself as well as he could and tried to encourage his 'iconic' relationship with his First Officer to grow into something Spock Prime would approve of. Jim had to admit, once you got use to the analytical way Spock approached life, he wasn't that bad of a guy. Sure Jim would huff and puff about how he needed to lighten up, but deep down he didn't mean it. He and Spock got along in a way that was strained in the beginning, but seemed to flourish into something Jim had never experienced before.

One thing Jim couldn't get used to though was the dreams.

Once in a while, when Jim was tired beyond all belief, he would get flashes of memories he knew were not his as he slept. It seemed that his subconscious had latched onto some of Spock Prime's memories during their mind meld on Delta Vega. They were faded imprints of moments between the old Spock and his other self. Jim tired his hardest to block them out, but the rush of emotions he gathered from each new sight made him pause and pay attention. He knew Spock felt. Emotions seemed to run deeply in his friend, but what he wasn't expecting was the rush of joy that accompanied the memories involving his alternate self. The echoed emotions ranged from trust to anger then admiration to love.

Love.

That was one emotion Jim Kirk never fooled around with simply because it was dangerous, yet necessary at the same time. Towards the very tail end of the mind meld with older Spock, Jim was greeted with the overwhelming anguish from Vulcan's destruction and the intense happiness Spock felt at seeing Jim again. Jim hadn't been sure which emotion had caused him to lose his breath more, but emotional transference was not easy to cope with. They had been friends: Hell, the intensity of their relationship flew way beyond normal friendship and into uncharted waters for Jim.

He wondered if Spock would ever feel that way towards him in their universe. More importantly, Jim wondered if he wanted him to.

The longest healthy relationship, of any kind, that Jim had was his friendship with Bones. They were brothers and the best of friends no matter how much they got on one another's nerves. It was natural to them. Jim put up with Bones' cynicism and Bones grudgingly put up with Jim's 'hound dog' reputation and his sometimes-infuriating personality.

Despite Jim's rep in the academy, he did desire a true connection with another soul more than anything. Sex was great especially when he had some energy to burn, but to have that one person who loved to no matter what happened in your past or your flaws you battled with everyday was something much greater. He'd never admit it out loud of course; he had to maintain a little male credibility among his crew. Though sometimes he felt they knew him better than he gave them credit for. They knew when he was in his playful moods and even when he hadn't gotten enough sleep the previous night. They were that good.

One sleepless night in particular changed Jim.

As Jim had laid in bed, his thoughts began to wander to a certain crewmember of his. It wasn't an odd occurrence considering most of his dreams involved Spock and they had spent a good part of the night playing 3D chess. Jim wasn't too terribly surprised to note the fond memories and blurry emotion had become a warm comfort in his strangely cold and uncomfortable bed. Of course, Jim had not the slightest idea of how Spock felt about him and proceeded to 'mope' as Bones called it, when the time permitted as he studied his First Officer closely and found no outward proof of his like (or dislike) of Jim.

Damn Vulcans and their emotionless countenance.

If his crew noticed Jim's sudden twinge in his actions, they said nothing; except for Bones who could read Jim like an open book with big bold lettering in broad daylight. He found the whole thing annoyingly hilarious. Irony was one harsh mistress, something Bones had no qualms about pointing out to Jim who would role his eyes and continue his dissection of the mystery that was Commander Spock. Jim once made the mistake of asking Bones for advise and his reply had been obvious before his friend opened his mouth.

"Dammit Jim I'm a doctor not a match-maker!" Bones scowled after shooting Jim a pointed look, then began to mumble about 'idiocy' as he filed a few reports and Jim decided Bones was going to be no help in the matter. Jim's sarcastic reply almost made Bones crack a smile, but he shooed him away nonetheless. It was Jim's problem that he fell in love with the green-blooded hobgoblin, not his.

So Jim continued to ponder and observe Spock without looking too terribly conspicuous. For the record, Jim could be sneaky when times called for it, but Vulcans were much more perceptive than he gave them credit for. When Spock would catch the Captain looking at him, he'd raise a questioning brow and watch, fascinated, as Jim's cheeks would color almost unnoticeably and he'd look quickly away. Spock did not comment on Jim's odd behavior, even when they were alone, feeling if it was important then Jim would tell him eventually. Or so he hoped, for Jim's heated stares and thoughtful glances made Spock squirm on the inside; and not in a bad way much to Spock's astonishment.

More time passed.

Jim and Spock grew closer still, but Jim was no closer to solving the ambiguous feelings Spock harbored for him than he was when he became Captain. To say it frustrated Jim would be a vast understatement and there were times he wanted to shove Spock against a wall and let it all out. Consequences be damned. When Spock would catch Jim's eyes from across the bridge, his pulse would hammer in his veins and he knew by the amused glint in his Commander's eyes that he heard it. Spock would try to decipher the torrid of burning emotions undulating in Jim's eyes and once Jim's lips would curve up in that familiar smirk Spock found his cognitive process interrupted. It was obvious that whatever the Captain was thinking about was something not so far from Spock's mind.

Jim had had enough of this cat and mouse game. He intended to see once and for all if fate could be kind. He was tired of waiting for fate to make another move and he decided it was time he made it happen himself.

"Spock a word?" Jim asked after he had approached his Commander. It was a slow and boring day in space so he knew they would not be required for a while. Spock paused, but upon sensing the urgency in Jim's words nodded. "Yes Captain." Spock replied. Jim nodded, "Sulu take the con." Jim said and faintly heard his fencing partner agree when he and Spock stepped off the bridge into the lift and waited to be taken to the quarters level. Jim tried to maintain his calm as he felt Spock's human eyes trace his face. Spock hypothesized that Jim intended to finally tell him what had preoccupied his thoughts the past months that had left a faint charge in the atmosphere between them. The charge had grown even more intense after his breakup with Uhura.

Nothing was said between Captain and Commander when they exited the lift. Various ensigns nodded in greeting when they saw Jim and Spock and they returned the greetings, though their minds were elsewhere. Jim barely remembered typing his code in and stepping into his room before spinning around to look Spock dead in his dark eyes. He couldn't understand how he could be so calm when Jim felt like he was about to explode from the overpowering emotions coursing though his veins that Spock himself invoked in him. It was unfair in Jim's opinion.

Jim hadn't gained his ship by being skittish or backing down from something he believed was important. His mind flashed back to the previous night when their hands had brushed while playing chess and a hot spark shot straight down his spine. He couldn't help but remember the way Spock's eyes lit up and Jim knew in that instant that there was something between them: Something he didn't want to hide from.

Spock saw the slight dilation in Jim's eyes and just before Jim closed the gap between them and kissed him, Spock pondered if this was one of the reasons his older self had implored him to remain in Starfleet. Had he and his Jim been lovers, had they been as compatible as Spock was sure he and his Jim were?

Spock figured it wasn't important and didn't needed to be explored at the current moment due to Jim's hands running over his body greedily. Spock responded to Jim's ministrations and felt the relief seeping into his skin from Jim and wondered briefly if Jim had been worried Spock would not return his affections.

Jim was in a state of euphoric shock when Spock began to respond to the kiss and instantly knew they were right. He had never felt so at one with someone before and he had been with his share of people before. Kissing Spock was like coming home after a long and taxing journey in a dark void. He felt loved.

Fate.

Jim thought it was an odd thing that wasn't always kind. He didn't always believe it was fair when he lost crewmembers or when he was helpless to help, but it gave him Spock in the end, and that was all that mattered.

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Well, there you have it. Easier to write than I originally thought, fun too. I've had part of this written for about 2 weeks now (give or take) and I have free time for the rest of the day so I might post my other ST fic (Spock/Uhura) later. I don't see why I can't write both. *laugh* I really hope I did okay on this one & maybe if the feedback is good I'll write more about my two favorite Enterprise members.

Peace out.


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